


Coming Out

by redridingemissary



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Genderqueer Character, Panic Attacks, Trans Character, Trans!Lydia, trans!liam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 03:57:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14488305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redridingemissary/pseuds/redridingemissary
Summary: Why is Liam so angry? They call him an IED. Maybe they should just stop calling Liam a he.In which Liam has some gender issues, and the pack is there to help.





	Coming Out

**Author's Note:**

> I will continue this if there is interest. Comment down below and tell me what you think!

There is definitely anger there. At who, Liam has never really known. His parents for having him? God, for making him this way? Himself, for feeling the way he does about everything? Probably a combination. His coach used to call him weak and girly. That was when he smashed the bastard's car up. As if being girly was synonymous with being weak. 

But Liam is not weak. Never has been. Not when his dad left, not when he got kicked off the team and out of school, and especially not about this. Being girly is fine. It takes strength to be girly. Unfortunately, it takes strength he doesn't have. 

He has always been a little bit alone with this. Obviously he has Mason, but they haven't really been all that close if he's honest. Best friends, but they don't hang out that much. More than others but certainly not like Scott and Stiles. But now he has a support system. Scott and Stiles, Lydia and Kira, even Malia sometimes. So maybe _they_ can help him have the strength. 

He goes to Stiles first. He can't imagine that this would be an easy conversation with his Alpha. And if anyone knows what it feels like to not feel right in their body, it's Stiles right? So he starts with Stiles.

“Yeah Liam just give me a sec, okay?” Stiles is typing so rapidly, it sounds like he has just been key smashing for the last 5 minutes. Five minutes doesn't seem like nearly enough time for Liam to buck up enough courage for this conversation. “So what's up?” 

It's okay, I'm okay, It's okay, I'm okay, It's okay, it'll be fine, I'm okay, he won't tell, I'm okay, It's okay, he won't tell, he keep secrets the best, you can tell him, he won't tell, I'm okay, It's okay, he won't judge, I'm okay, It's okay, I'm okay, he-

“Liam? Liam, look at me. Liam look at me! LIAM!” 

Long fingers grasp his face. He's not breathing. Why isn't he breathing?

“Liam breathe. In, out, in- Liam fucking breathe!” 

Hitched sobs break free from his trembling lips. He's suddenly crushed against a chest, arms around his torso, so tight that he doesn't need to breathe. There's no room for air in his lungs. 

Too tight. No- safe. Safe. I can breathe. I'm okay. I'm safe. I can breathe. He becomes aware of the murmuring slowly. Like he just came out of water, and his ears are still plugged up. 

“That's it. You're okay. You're okay. Breathe buddy. Yeah. Yeah, good. That's great Liam. That's great. You're okay. I'm here. You're safe. I'm here.” 

Maybe he can have this conversation from right here. Tucked into Stiles' arms, he can breathe. He can do this. He doesn't have to be strong, because Stiles will protect him. Just like always. He can do this. _Okay._ OKAY. Okay. okay. He leans into heat and sighs. Okay. Breathe.

“I need to tell you something. About- about me.” “Yeah, yeah anything bud.” He looks so earnest. Liam did just have a panic attack over this. Breathe. 

“I- don't look how I feel. On- on the inside- my head is dif- I look- I can't-” He's shaking. He knows he's shaking. Fuck. Breathe.  
“Liam it's okay dude just-” “I'm not a dude.” Stiles pulls away. Liam knows the look he's getting. 

“That's what this is about?” 

Bad idea. He's gonna tell. He _knows._ Not safe, not safe, not safe. Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide, run, hide, not safe, not okay, not okay, NOT OKAY, NOT OKAY-

“Breathe. I'm not going anywhere. Breathe for me. You're not a boy. You told me. That's okay. I know now. You're safe Liam, I'm not going to leave. _Breathe.”_ He's suddenly facing Stiles. Big hands on his cheeks. Big eyes on his own. 

“I don't have to call you dude. That's okay. I don't call Lydia dude either.” “But- but you love Lydia. It's not- it's not the same.” 

Stiles' smile cracks his face wide open. Dents in his cheeks, light in his eyes. “Yeah I do love Lydia. I've loved her since the third grade. I've loved her since before she was Lydia. All the way back to when her name was David and she couldn't wear skirts because her dad was an asshole.” 

His world spins. “Lydia? She- she's- she-” 

“Yep. Just like you kid- maybe. Are you trans or non-binary or androgynous or genderfluid or genderqueer or agender or- you're freaking out aren't you? And I should shut up now.” He stutters to a stop, and just hugs Liam again. It's warm here in his arms. He breathes. In, out, in, out, in, out. 

“I feel like I'm not a boy. Not- on the outside, yeah, but on the- on the- in my head- it's-it's different.” Stiles nods. Patient as ever. “I don't like being called a boy. It makes me angry, I can't-” Stiles nods again, understanding lighting up his eyes once more. “First thing's first. Do you want to be called Liam?” 

“It's my name, I don't-” “My birth name isn't Stiles, but that doesn't mean it’s not my real name. Just because I chose it, doesn't mean it isn't really my name. So, do you want to be called Liam?” Liam pauses. He hasn't even stopped thinking about himself in terms of being a boy. He still thinks in male pronouns, still associates himself with the name Liam. He doesn't quite feel like he is all the way a girl. Like maybe he is just a boy, who isn't like all the other boys. An almost boy. Incomplete, confused, it's why he gets so angry. How can he dispute people's claims that he's a boy, when he can't even tell them who he _really_ is? 

Liam settles on, “For now.”


End file.
